So a month and change shy of my forty-fifth birthday, I play my first hockey game.

It. Was. Awesome.

I haven’t had so much fun in a long time.  But, damn, having the clinic and game on the same night makes for a long night.  Six-plus hours.

6:00 30-minutes of yoga to stretch and warm-up, because my balance sucks and I’m not as limber as I used to be
6:30 A quick shower, make sure all the gear’s in the bag, fill the water bottle, take an Ibuprofen as a pro-active solution to the coming pain
7:00 Leave for the rink
7:30-7:45 Arrive at the rink, depending on traffic
7:45 Gear up and bullshit in the locker room (particularly nasty story from the other rink about a guy’s earlobe getting sliced off – yay, hockey!)
8:00-8:15 Wait for the kids to finish up their practice and the Zamboni to cut the ice
8:15-9:15 Clinic
9:15-9:30 Wait for the ice to be cut again
9:30-11:00 Game: 12-minute periods, 5-minutes between periods
11:15 Leave the rink
11:45 Stop at Friday’s, because, damn it, I just played a hockey game and I deserve a sandwich and a drink
12:30 Home

And that would be an optimal night where the kids don’t run long and the Zamboni doesn’t drop a ton of water on the ice that we have to wait on.

The rookie game at this rink is sort of a formalized pick-up game.  It’s not a league with set teams.  The rink manager sets the team each night, depending on who shows up and lets you know if you’re Red or Blue.  Tonight I was on Blue.

Fifteen skaters showed up, so Red had seven players and Blue had eight … well, seven and me.

A quick conference before the game starts and we decide on three defensemen and five forwards.  I’m one of the forwards, but not starting.

The puck drops and before I know it one of our guys is skating for the bench yelling “Right wing!”.  Shit … I’m next on the bench, so I go over the boards and start my first shift … which I don’t remember at all …

It’s all a blur, and I couldn’t recount what happened in any kind of order to save my life, but certain events stand out.

I was surprised at how tired I was when I got to the bench at the end of a shift.  For the most part, I didn’t notice it on the ice, but then I’d sit down on the bench and start gasping for breath.

I made all of my shifts except one.  With about 7:00 minutes left in the third, I returned to the bench and it hit me hard.  Out of breath, feeling like I’d vomit, scrabbling at my facemask to open it up and get some air (because a metal cage stops airflow?). 

By the time I was up again, I just hadn’t recovered enough and someone else had to take that shift, but I did recover my breath and managed one more before the end of the game – unfortunately, as we’ll get to later.

The coach from the clinic referees the game and provides feedback to the teams between periods.  I listened … I really did … and today I don’t remember a word he said.  Something about the D not pinching so much and maybe not letting one guy carry the puck behind their net and get mobbed by the entire other team without any help. 

I cannot count the number of times I fell, but it was easier to avoid flat-out running into anyone than I expected it to be.  Falling I don’t mind – it’s usually the result of pushing my skating skills a bit too far, which is the way to improvement, and it doesn’t hurt with the pads.  Running into the boards does hurt, which I have now managed to do three weeks in a row.  At least this time it wasn’t my left side, so the ribs there got a break.

So on one shift we were in our own zone and the puck went behind the goal-line.  One of the opposing players got to it and one of our guys went after him, but there was a tangle and ours went down.  I was on the other side of the net and went behind it toward them.  I got there before the opposing player got control of the puck and whacked at it.  I actually connected and got it away from him.

The puck went more to the center than I’d have preferred – it would have been better to send it back along the boards, but I managed to get there and keep the opposing player from making a controlled pass, so I’m happy with that.

Later I wound up at center … which means face-offs … which I’ve never done before and it showed.  Lost both of them.  I need to read up on how to take a face-off and find some drills to practice.

My best effort of the night was again in our zone.  I was at right-wing and got to the puck, turned to cut off the opposing player and had open ice to clear it to the other wing.  He was hanging at the blue-line and picked up the puck for a breakaway.  Didn’t score, but it was still nice to be a part of.

I even managed a shot on goal.  Coming in at left-wing, the right-wing carried the puck into the zone, got stood up by the defense and the puck came across the slot to me.  Unfortunately, it came to my backhand and the shot was slow and pathetic, but it was on net.

The last shift of the game was the worst.  We started the third period with the score 4-4 (I think, tied at least).  Near the end it was 4-7 … we’d had a bad third period.

I’d sat out one shift with 7:00 left, but figured I had one more in me.  Everyone on the bench was exhausted, but I’d been there the longest, so when a defenseman came in and no one else moved, I went out. 

So one of them gets the puck on my side and gets around me.  I chased him up the ice and it was incredibly frustrating, because the fucking puck was right there. Two feet.  I needed two more feet of reach to poke it away from him and I couldn’t pump my legs enough to get them.  We hit the top of the circles and I had to let up a bit, because I know I’m not going to be able to turn or stop in time to avoid the boards if I don’t, and he scores.

Just a little more speed and I’d have been able to do something.  I managed to stay with him, but just couldn’t make up those two feet.  Also he was inside of me, so I think if I’d managed to move to his other side, I could have interfered with his shot, at least.  My mistake there was that I was playing the puck and not the man – if I’d been inside, I could have lifted his stick or something.

Next I just got out of position.  The puck was deep in our zone and went back and forth between the net and the boards a couple times – I played more wing than defense and wound up outside the puck and they scored again.

So a couple of decent plays, a couple bonehead mistakes, and a hell of a lot of fun.